by admin | Nov 27, 2012 | Uncategorized
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen”
-Prayer of St. Francis of Asisi
I went to aGirlsConventHigh Schoolin the 1980’s. (that makes me about thirty now. No really!) There was much unrest in the country, and as it was a multi-racial school, we had girls with us that actually witnessed the unrest and had seen necklacings.
We prayed St. Francis’s prayer almost daily. For me, even as a twelve year old, it wasn’t just another Catholic Prayer we were reciting, I profoundly wanted to be a channel of peace, love, hope and light in this nation. By age fourteen I had determined that I would study law, and that that would be a platform for me to become an agent for change. I had quite a flare for public speaking and debating so I engaged in some childlike “activism” speaking against the evils of apartheid and bringing to the fore the works of struggle poets like Oswald Mtshali.
Os Hillman writes that deep in the heart of every human is the desire to make a difference. I profoundly feel that, and have done since childhood. The practice of law, per se, was not, as it turned out, to be the ideal platform for me to become the agent for change I so badly wanted to be. In ten years of practice as an attorney I gained some invaluable experience, both professionally and personally. I also went through four very traumatic painful years both professionally and personally, born out of painful personal circumstances that caused major depression and naturally impacted negatively on my whole life. Sadly for all concerned, mostly my baby daughter, I went through a bitter divorce. Os Hillman also writes that a personal crisis in our smaller stories often ignites the larger story that resides in each one of us. Often a personal crisis can lead to a larger story that pushes us into living for a cause greater than ourselves.
Having recovered to a large extent from the traumatic events of the past, and having remarried and having had a second child, a son, I thrust my energies into alternative dispute resolution. I had developed a passion for mediation and arbitration as a young 24 year old attorney when I joined the Christian Lawyers Association, so when I went through my divorce I was profoundly aware of the alternative to the harsh adversarial process I was being exposed to: mediation.
When traumatic life events serve to strengthen you, rather than overcome you, I believe you have a profound responsibility to serve out of that place of having been strengthened. And so, as someone who has been subjected to violence, even as one classed as “vulnerable” in society due to a walking disability, and having largely overcome the scars and having found strength and courage, I feel accountable to help raise the profile of the 16 Days of Activism for no violence against women and children.
Of course we should live out a daily commitment to this, but this is a period in which we can heighten the awareness. The theme for this year’s campaign is From Peace in the Home to peace in the world.
It is congruent with our broader ideal, that we help disputants resolve their conflicts positively, peacefully and collaboratively.
As you know, we are a for-profit Dispute Resolution Agency and we are committed to building solid entrepreneurial models in ADR that make sense for ADR practitioners. We have brilliant business minds on our board committed to building sustainable and profitable models in ADR.
We, however, also regard ourselves as activists in Alternative Dispute Resolution, committed to bringing to South African Society news of an alternative way, and in many cases a better way to resolve disputes. As many of you will know, I talk a lot about coming across people daily who are in profound pain. Whether it is a husband and wife going through a divorce, a bitter custody dispute, workplace conflict or business partners facing a severing of their relationship-there is profound pain involved. I have seen people suicidal in divorce, I have seen them suicidal in dismissal disputes and I have seen them suicidal in Boardroom conflict. Suicidal adiation is extreme, but it is safe to make a sweeping statement that the vast majority of disputants experience financial detriment, sleepless nights, health issues and a whole host of other negative consequences rippling outward.
I am not saying that Alternative Dispute Resolution processes are all rainbows and cotton-wool candy, but if you want to talk about accessibility, efficiency and economics, let’s talk. If you want to talk about a solution palatable to both sides, rather than a winner-takes-all solution (after he or she has spent a lot of time, money and very life resources on the win), then let’s talk. A peaceful, collaborative solution is far more likely to live in mediation than it does anywhere else, let’s talk.
Tomorrow I travel to Joburg (on the redeye flight *sad face*) as we have meetings with the Minister of Traditional Affairs as well as various unions. We are also in talks with other African States around a collaborative approach to raising the profile of ADR across the continent. I will have much to tell you on my return.
In the meantime, have the conversation with your workmates, your spouse, your kids, your business partners- From Peace in the Home, to Peace in the World. Let’s do it!
If you would like to engage with me please email me on sheena@mediatorsa.co.za
For information on our dispute settlement services please email info@mediatorsa.co.za
For information on our ADR training programs-via correspondence and via 5 day workshops, please email adr@mediatorsa.co.za
You can also chat to me on twitter @sheena_ostjon. Look forward to it!
Also have a look at our project on influence www.the-influence-project.com.
Until next time, peace!
Sheena Jonker
sheena@mediatorsa.co.za
by admin | Nov 27, 2012 | Uncategorized
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen”
-Prayer of St. Francis of Asisi
I went to aGirlsConventHigh Schoolin the 1980’s. (that makes me about thirty now. No really!) There was much unrest in the country, and as it was a multi-racial school, we had girls with us that actually witnessed the unrest and had seen necklacings.
We prayed St. Francis’s prayer almost daily. For me, even as a twelve year old, it wasn’t just another Catholic Prayer we were reciting, I profoundly wanted to be a channel of peace, love, hope and light in this nation. By age fourteen I had determined that I would study law, and that that would be a platform for me to become an agent for change. I had quite a flare for public speaking and debating so I engaged in some childlike “activism” speaking against the evils of apartheid and bringing to the fore the works of struggle poets like Oswald Mtshali.
Os Hillman writes that deep in the heart of every human is the desire to make a difference. I profoundly feel that, and have done since childhood. The practice of law, per se, was not, as it turned out, to be the ideal platform for me to become the agent for change I so badly wanted to be. In ten years of practice as an attorney I gained some invaluable experience, both professionally and personally. I also went through four very traumatic painful years both professionally and personally, born out of painful personal circumstances that caused major depression and naturally impacted negatively on my whole life. Sadly for all concerned, mostly my baby daughter, I went through a bitter divorce. Os Hillman also writes that a personal crisis in our smaller stories often ignites the larger story that resides in each one of us. Often a personal crisis can lead to a larger story that pushes us into living for a cause greater than ourselves.
Having recovered to a large extent from the traumatic events of the past, and having remarried and having had a second child, a son, I thrust my energies into alternative dispute resolution. I had developed a passion for mediation and arbitration as a young 24 year old attorney when I joined the Christian Lawyers Association, so when I went through my divorce I was profoundly aware of the alternative to the harsh adversarial process I was being exposed to: mediation.
When traumatic life events serve to strengthen you, rather than overcome you, I believe you have a profound responsibility to serve out of that place of having been strengthened. And so, as someone who has been subjected to violence, even as one classed as “vulnerable” in society due to a walking disability, and having largely overcome the scars and having found strength and courage, I feel accountable to help raise the profile of the 16 Days of Activism for no violence against women and children.
Of course we should live out a daily commitment to this, but this is a period in which we can heighten the awareness. The theme for this year’s campaign is From Peace in the Home to peace in the world.
It is congruent with our broader ideal, that we help disputants resolve their conflicts positively, peacefully and collaboratively.
As you know, we are a for-profit Dispute Resolution Agency and we are committed to building solid entrepreneurial models in ADR that make sense for ADR practitioners. We have brilliant business minds on our board committed to building sustainable and profitable models in ADR.
We, however, also regard ourselves as activists in Alternative Dispute Resolution, committed to bringing to South African Society news of an alternative way, and in many cases a better way to resolve disputes. As many of you will know, I talk a lot about coming across people daily who are in profound pain. Whether it is a husband and wife going through a divorce, a bitter custody dispute, workplace conflict or business partners facing a severing of their relationship-there is profound pain involved. I have seen people suicidal in divorce, I have seen them suicidal in dismissal disputes and I have seen them suicidal in Boardroom conflict. Suicidal adiation is extreme, but it is safe to make a sweeping statement that the vast majority of disputants experience financial detriment, sleepless nights, health issues and a whole host of other negative consequences rippling outward.
I am not saying that Alternative Dispute Resolution processes are all rainbows and cotton-wool candy, but if you want to talk about accessibility, efficiency and economics, let’s talk. If you want to talk about a solution palatable to both sides, rather than a winner-takes-all solution (after he or she has spent a lot of time, money and very life resources on the win), then let’s talk. A peaceful, collaborative solution is far more likely to live in mediation than it does anywhere else, let’s talk.
Tomorrow I travel to Joburg (on the redeye flight *sad face*) as we have meetings with the Minister of Traditional Affairs as well as various unions. We are also in talks with other African States around a collaborative approach to raising the profile of ADR across the continent. I will have much to tell you on my return.
In the meantime, have the conversation with your workmates, your spouse, your kids, your business partners- From Peace in the Home, to Peace in the World. Let’s do it!
If you would like to engage with me please email me on sheena@mediatorsa.co.za
For information on our dispute settlement services please email info@mediatorsa.co.za
For information on our ADR training programs-via correspondence and via 5 day workshops, please email adr@mediatorsa.co.za
You can also chat to me on twitter @sheena_ostjon. Look forward to it!
Also have a look at our project on influence www.the-influence-project.com.
Until next time, peace!
Sheena Jonker
sheena@mediatorsa.co.za
by admin | Nov 15, 2012 | Uncategorized
Holla!
I greet you in peace. What an exciting few weeks. We have seen a steady rise in registrations on our five day ADR Program and there seems to be rising demand. We get daily enquiries from corporates, local goverment and individuals. It clearly signifies the fact that the profile of Alternative Dispute Resolution is rising which is encouraging. We are also seeing consistenmt increase in demand fore our correspondence program which is research based and registrations from great thinkers and academics are assisting us in producing cutting edge research.
Our programs are benchmarked against national and international standards. However we are including aspects gleaned from further research and experience. Notably we have included The Culture of Honour in our Programs. Inspired by the work of Danny Silk, myself, Adam Bright and Hilton Mundell of Juiced Strategies are building models around a culture of Honour that we see working in practice. We feel we have only scratched the surface of the value of Honour in conflict resolution. I will be writing much more about this topic, but essentially Honour is profoundly not about history, but about destiny. And so when we as mediators engage with parties that have made poor choices ending in tragedy for themselves and others, if we are able to view those parties in terms of their destiny rather than in terms of their history, then we feel we can add more value to the decision making process. Of course history is important and I will discuss this further in discussions around the storytelling aspect.
Also we find that modelling a culture of honour at the table, also shifts the parties from the victim/bully mindset to a mindset which is more empowered and even fights for the honour of an opponent rather being locked in a space of defending self-honour.More about this soon!
We are also seeing the profile of ADR lift in all sectors with an exponential increase of referrals in commercial, workplace, family and other disputes.
We remain committed to raising the profile of ADR Processes in the interests of all role players and disputants. To this end we are looking to meet with influencers in all sectors of society. I have been honoured recently to spend time with represenatives of the Department of Justice Rules Board, the DG for tourism, a represenative from Treasury and a whole host of union leaders and business leaders. They all back ADR processes in a big way. Tomorrow I travel to Joburg tro meet business leaders, the minister of traditional affairs, the DG of Human Settlements and the Department of Justice.
Next year I will be concentrating on public speaking and conferencing around raising awareness for ADR processes. I have been honoured and humbled to be invited to speak at a one day program for 80 business leaders in Africa including some presidents, in January next year.
As many of you know, at the heart of my commitment to ADR processes and mediation is access to justice and storytelling. It is difficult to achieve justice in court as it is essentially a contest which relies to a large extent on the genius, or lack thereof, of the lawyes that the litigants are able to afford.
Storytelling is also a high value for me. It is in being heard and being prepared to listen, that parties are able to shift into patterns of forgiveness and collaboration. To this end we are starting a talk show in January to raise the profile of storytelling and consequently, mediation.
I was most honoured to spend time with Dali Mpofu acting for the injured Marikana Miners. My view is that his and his teams work in uncovering the story of the miners will help to retell South African History authentically, and if we are prepared to listen, this may be significant in helping to shape a better future for us all.
I honour Advocates Dali Mpofu, Dumisa Ntsebeza for the work they are doing for these miners, and actually for us all. I also honour the courage of the first witness, Bishop Seoka.
Until next time, peace!
Sheena
Please email me at sheena@mediatorsa.co.za
by admin | Nov 15, 2012 | Uncategorized
We have finalised the follwing workshop dates for the first quarter of next year:
Bloemfontein 7-11 January
Rhodes 21-25 January
Johannesburg 11-15 February
Cape Town 25 February -2 March
Durban 11-15 March
Johannesburg 25-29 March
For further details on each workshop or to request registration forms, please email adr@mediatorsa.co.za
Also a reminder about our correspondence program which has a strong research element. We are honoured that we have had an upsurge of registrations on this program and that trainees include attorneys, advocates, judges, business leaders, mental health professionals, professors and other academics. We are so excited about the research work being produced which is inspiring and groundbreaking.
In January we are setting up a full sound stage and studio from where we will film our online training videos, produce our you tube channel and we are also starting a talk show on storytelling which will help to raise the profile of mediation for the benefit of all.
Look out for news releases on this on this blog.
Please follow us on twitter @ADRNetworkSA and @sheena_ostjon for regular information. You can also like our page on facebook ADR Network SA.
Please email me directly at sheena@mediatorsa.co.za
Until next time, peace!
Sheena
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